Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Kysen's birth - A Surrogacy Story

This is Kylee's story of the birth of her surrogate son, who she carried, incubated, grew, and birthed for her friends who could not have another child together for medical reasons. Such an amazing thing to do for a couple!









Had a normal day - sunday at mum's for lunch altho thinking back now i guess it was quite unusual that i wasnt very hungry and i was really quite lethargic not to mention short on temper actually i spent all of sunday afternoon screeching at the kids like i was a mad woman (sorry kids mummy does love you).Went to bed early to put my feet up to watch TV and turned off everything and slept at 10.30.Woke up at 11.30 with a shocking lower back ache and the worst heartburn you could imagine!! so i got up for a wee and noticed the tiniest streak of blood on the paper but didnt get my hopes up and went back to bed.Was so excited thinking maybe this was really it (keep in mind ive never spontaniously gone into labour,had a show or had my waters rupture) i couldnt sleep and was having niggles and needing to wee every 20 mins or so.Finally at 2 i went and woke ben and said i felt unwell and maybe the baby was coming and he made me a cup of tea and we watched some stupid haunted house thing in my room till 3 but as i had no regular contractions i told him to go back to bed as i didnt think the baby would ever come.3.30 i got up yet again for a wee and YAYYYYYYY i had a small show so back to tell ben that yes baby was coming today and we needed to finish packing my bag and that we would wake the children and drive to stratford birthing centre when my contractions regulated as i didnt want to wake all the familys involved (how considerate of me) .By 4 my contractions were regular and 8-10 mins apart so i woke the kids and loaded everyone up the van for our drive and got ben to ring mum to tell her it was happening.Got to mums and the contractions were still regular but not at all painfull but yippeeee my waters broke lol just a little gush with every contraction so at ten to five mum rung the babys parents to tell them to come on in they would have a new son by the end of the day.Mum rung the midwife and told her i was now 5 mins apart and she suggested we move over to the unit due to my usually very quick births,of course we couldnt go there tho untill i had a chocolate bar and mum bought smokes so off to the all night garage first lol what a sight we must have looked all crammed in mums rav4.Got to the birthing unit and contractions were still easy.Babys parents arrived and slowly my contractions got steadily stronger and by 6.30ish i was really feeling them so with mum and babys mums assistance i had a shower (quite funny really as we were laughing at the fact i had to remove my fanny piercing before birthing),the shower helped put me into a good established labour and i felt the urge to get onto the bed.After what felt like forever those contractions hit me hard,i was so scared as the pain was like nothing i had felt before and i wanted to stay calm for my childrens sake but OMG i couldnt as i was pushing my little heart out and that baby just wasnt budging,i remember screaming that he was stuck and everybody telling me to push harder but i was just so bloody tired and seriously it was breakfast time and i couldnt understand why the midwife wouldnt let me stop and have some LOL.Finally after what seems like forever i felt the baby crowning and i felt him jam on my wee hips and pelvis and to make it worse i crapped myself (oh the shame of it) i kept pushing but his head just wasnt moving and the pain got so bad i saw my life flash before my eyes.With some assistance from my midwife finally his head was out but i was tired now and honestly didnt understand why the midwife wouldnt just pull him out (i asked her nicely) but with all my might i got his shoulders out and it was welcome to the world baby!!!!! his mum caught him but then he was chucked onto my tummy by the midwife and a sheet put over him i was sitting there thinking hang on this wasnt the plan,i dont want him.I lifted the sheet and saw he was blue and purple and i was thinking OMFG hes dead,after close to a minute and alot of slaps finally he cried and i was so relieved.His dad cut his cord and baby was given to me and i was told *here kylee give your baby to his mum* ,I must say handing that screaming huge bundle of baby to his mum was the most surreal thing you could imagine,she was crying and shaking so much she could barely take him from me she kept repeating thankyou over and over and the look of love and understanding she gave me will forever be imprinted on my mind.Our stay at the unit was nice,day 1 was great and the parents friends and family spoilt me rotten,day 2 i had a few tears but nothing major.Day 3 saw me standing outside at 3.20am in the cold sobbing where nobody could hear me,erratic thoughts running through my mind and the urge to go and get that baby out of his crib and run away with him was so strong that i went inside and sought out the company of the night nurse,all i wanted was to hold my baby and tell him that i love him.Day 4 was goodbye day and i woke feeling blue knowing i was saying goodbye not goodbye forever but i knew from that day on i would no longer be his mum,i avoided holding him and just watched him till mum arrived to collect me.I packed my stuff and told mum ok its time to go now and stood in my room looking thru to his room where he was sleeping and realised i just couldnt say goodbye and then i broke down infront of everybody and that was the last thing i wanted to do,i knew when i was carrying him it would be hard but this was torture i was leaving the unit without my 4th child,my 4 day old son!.Walking out those doors is the hardest thing i have ever done.Everyday his parents thank me for giving them the child that they would never have had but everyday i thank them for trusting me to grow and nurture their child in my womb.This has been an amazing experience for myself and my family and friends and yes i would do it again in a heartbeat,it was a hard birth and has been hard on me mentally but thats 2 small negatives out of the billions of positives i have gained,my family has extended greatly and hey ive got a baby i dont have to get up with in the night or change crappy nappies lol.

6 comments:

Bump Fairy said...

Ooh, my heart aches for you. I am in the process of becomming a Gestational Surrogate and you story sure was inspiring!

Kylee said...

AWWWW i like to hear ive inspired LOL,good luck to you and i promise altho hard as it is you will find this the most amazing experience of your life.I always thought giving birth to my own children was the best but no feeling beats giving someone else the chance to be a mum x0x

Wanna_B_slim said...

Omg..I have goosebumps... I always said I wuold do it for my sister if she kept having miscarriages...
I am glad I didnt have to..but I would have just to see then have a child...

fitcat said...

This is such an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it... :)

Jen said...

I am in the process of becoming a gestational surrogate. Your story is inspiring and realistic. I hope that some good therapy will keep me from being too depressed after the child goes to his / her parents...

smated.com said...

Wow!