Monday, September 25, 2006
Kaylee Brooke, Born 10th July 2004 at Waitakere Hospital, Auckland NZ
My due date was the 22nd of July, so I wasn’t expecting to go into labour for a while, however when I had a show around the first week of July, I started getting excited and thinking maybe I may not reach my due date!
At around 5pm on the 9th of July 2004 I was online with my mother and I felt a bit of a twinge, little tiny cramps, I joked to her, “im in labour” haha little did I know that it was indeed the beginning! The cramps were regular right from the start and as much as I should have been resting, I was too excited! I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I just lay awake, and I think a small amount of dozing happened!
I eventually fell asleep at around 11pm and woke quickly at 1am busting to go to the loo, I sat up and my waters broke! Thank goodness I had put a lot of towels down on the bed, it was the weirdest sensation I had ever felt before in my life! I went through so many towels and sanitary pads! Just kept gushing! I had no idea there was THAT much “water” to come out, with so much more to come!
So that was it, I was completely awake, and nothing in me could go back to sleep, I texted Mum and told her that my waters had broken, of course she panicked and rang the house a few times to see if she should leave then (at 1.30am, she was at the time a 4 hour drive away!) we told her to go back to sleep, because we wanted to, and come up in the morning. Somehow I don’t think she got back to sleep!
Darryl went back to bed, and I got up and sat in the lounge, backwards over a chair (was the most comfortable position for me at the time) on a huge pile of towels, and watched Animal Planet! At around 3.30am I woke Darryl up again as the contractions were getting stronger and I needed someone to keep heating my wheat bags as I was finding it a bit harder to get up and down all the time, I remember when he got up standing in the kitchen with him, having a contraction come and instead of breathing through it (like any normal person would!) I sang! I think with every contraction I got through every TV ad I knew at the time! God knows if the neighbors heard (in the house we were in the windows had been painted open… couldn’t be closed…but we wont go there, that’s a whole different story!) but here I was at around 4am singing TV ads at the top of my lungs… haha
I sent Darryl off at around 4am to the supermarket to get some more supplies, (god bless 24 hour supermarkets!) I was ripping through the sanitary pads like anything! And I think he got chocolate and energy drinks too (great healthy food!), and I kept sitting backwards over my chair watching Animal Planet!
At around 6am (ish) I noticed I was bleeding, and did a bit of a panic, because I was told that if you bleed, there is something wrong, and get to the hospital NOW (have since found out this is wrong, it was just my show coming away fully! – had started showing about a week before) So we tried getting hold of my midwife, turns out it was her weekend off, so we rang the backup midwife, whose mobile phone was turned off! We left a message on that and tried to get hold of her in other ways, and finally she rang back, she said she was at the hospital anyway (at another labour) so we should come in, so we took off to the hospital at around 7.30am with Darryl’s mum closely following.
Once at the hospital I got hooked up to a monitor for a bit to see how my contractions were, and there were pretty decent, but they said to me I could either go home for a while longer, or wait around and see what happens, I asked for an internal because I needed to see how far along I was, the midwife was surprised to see that already I was at 5cm, she said to me at 5cm I would be nuts going home, so stay in the hospital we did!
I had planned a water birth, but unfortunately wasn’t put in a room with the birthing pool, there was however a nice deep bath, so I asked if I could go in that for a while, it was bliss, I loved being in the water, I felt weightless, I could move with each contraction with ease, I could relax, I could lie back between contractions, I recommend being in the water to anyone! The only problem I had was every so often the midwife wanted to do an internal, and I had to get out of the bath for them, I didn’t like that! Darryl had the job of keeping the temperature of the water regular, and after a couple of hours the contractions started coming thick and fast, I had some gas come in, but the canister was faulty, had another canister come in, that too was faulty, so I ended up sucking on the nozzle anyway, as it gave me something to concentrate on, and my breathing was SO much more regular with something to concentrate on! I had an internal in the bath and the midwife said I was at 10cm and it wouldn’t be too long at all, I remember thinking at the time, “wow, im going to have the perfect birth!” hmpf… after several more contractions the midwife asked me to get out of the bath so I could have a proper internal (OMG nobody tells you these things damn well HURT!) I got out of the bath, and yep I was at 10cm, but by then I didn’t want to get back in the water again, I thought I was going to have a baby really soon! (This would have been about 10.30am) and I was told that by lunchtime we would be parents!!
Lunch time came and went… the contractions stayed the same and after another internal (I lost track of how many I had, but there were a lot!) it was found that I was not 10cm dilated, I was 7cm… I was devastated! So we jumped in the shower for a while, the hot shower really helped, sitting on the toilet was comfy too, however as my room and an adjoining birthing room shared a toilet, I had the midwife next door knocking all the time as THEY wanted to use the loo…. I found that really hard to deal with, I didn’t want to be rushed and hurried, I wanted to relax!!
However I was completely exhausted, I could handle the contractions, but the tiredness and lack of food was really getting to me, but I still didn’t see the need for any drugs, around 3pm however I could barely move, I was just physically and emotionally exhausted, millions of woman every day push out a baby, why wasn’t mine coming out!! So the decision was made for me to have an epidural, WHAT BLISS! It was amazing, and as soon as I had it I slept for a good couple of hours, much needed sleep to bring me some energy! I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors at this stage and had a drip in my arm, but I really didn’t care anymore, I just wanted this baby out! I remember looking up after I woke up (I was pretty much naked my whole labour, I have no shame and think if people don’t want to see it then they don’t have to be there) and seeing a family of people looking through my door, one of the nurses had left the door open and they were having a good old gawk, Mum (who arrived just before I had the epidural) got up quickly and shut the door in their face!
The contractions were still thick and fast as they had been for hours, but babies heart rate started dropping, I was apparently back to 10cm dilated again and started pushing, but I think I lost all energy again, and before I knew it the room was full of doctors, nurses, midwifes, my mother, Darryl’s mother and Darryl! Heaps of people in a little room, my legs got put up in stirrups, the doctor tried to explain to me that I will be cut (episiotomy) and baby will come out with the help of a ventouse (Vacuum) I really didn’t care and just kept pushing, I remember being told at one stage to stop making noise as it was using up all my energy, once again, I really didn’t care!
After a snip and a suck, at 6.41pm on the 10th of July 2004, Kaylee Brooke made her grand entrance into the world, fully awake, completely covered in vernix, they put her straight up onto me and I remember lying there holding her with this amazing sense of love and guardianship, I was now responsible for another life, I was blown away by how beautiful she was and instantly I was in love. It was a surreal moment.
Unfortunately that moment went away all too quickly when it came time to deliver the placenta.
The birth of the placenta sticks in my mind as one of the most painful things I have ever experienced in my life, I had the injection to help it come away, but there was no waiting for any contractions (although there were some mighty ones!) the Doctor was between my legs (still in stirrups) and the midwife started pressing very hard on my stomach, the doctor was grabbing the cord with (so I got told since!) one foot levered up against the bed pulling the placenta out while the midwife pushed on my stomach, not a pleasant experience and never one I want to repeat ever again. Then, as I had an episiotomy, I had to have a lot of stitches, and unfortunately for me even with a few injections of local anesthetic I felt every damn stitch, for me, the part that come after the delivery of my baby was the worst, hardest and most traumatic thing I have ever had to go through, and I will do everything in my power to never repeat it again.
After all the doctors, nurses and my midwife had left, a couple of hospital midwifes came in to help Darryl help me shower, I was so weak and so tired, so we got into the bathroom, where I promptly fainted, I was helped up onto the toilet and ‘brought to’ and then we tried for a shower a couple more times, fainting each time, I was helped back to the bed where the midwifes made me some toast with jam and a sweet milo, it felt SO good after not eating for so long (last meal was way before I even went into labour!) however it wasn’t enough and I kept fainting, the decision was made for me that I would not shower that night, I was too tired to argue, and I was put onto drip bags for much needed fluids, I wasn’t taken off the drip for over 12 hours.
At around 10pm I was moved into a private room with Kaylee, Darryl went home for the night, and I remember lying there, exhausted, Kaylee was looking at me, and I was looking at her and I knew right then and there that words could not explain my love for this child, and every ounce of pain, discomfort and exhaustion was completely worth it.